POETRY
AFRICAN BORN AMERICAN MADE
The Blessings and the Curse of being
a First Generation American
The cry behind a smile
For every smile I form
There’s a tear for it
For every giggle I make
Protects an insecurity inside me
Every walk every gesture
Can be taken as a false me
The American outside of me
With the South African within me
You are worth more than a ring
I want to marry you… and your accent…and your ethnicity…and your culture
And tell you I will protect and provide for you
At no cost, because you were there at my lowest
And never judged me of my job or the amount of cash I bring
And for that you deserve everything
Because you took a chance on me when no one else did
You saw and fell in love of who I was inside
Which is the biggest gift a woman can provide
And for that I want to marry you even if we have shown our darkest side and because we love to work on each
other with self awareness and care we will turn the dark to light and everything in between will feel just right
And for that I will marry you even when my life is about to change for the better
Because you shown me loyalty and honor
So how can a man like me
Keep you forever in my arms
Because you are the definition of unconditional love
And for that I am marrying you
As I saw past your beautiful eyes and gullible laughter and saw a strong leader
who will one day be the best mother in the world
And to our kids who we will guide and care for
And sacrifice ourselves for them until the end of the earth
But until Then, I will marry you because you are worth more than a ring
What it feels to be first generation
Born into a world different from your parents
Judged by your peers who see you as different
It feels like solitude
It feels like desire to be part of a community
It feels like not loving the way you look
So you beat yourself with words why am I not white
Why must I be cursed with this nappy hair
These big lips and nose
It feels like dissatisfaction like I wonder who did surgery on MJ nose. Can they do mine?
So that I can be satisfied with my looks
BE ( To Those Ethnic parents throwing guilt) S/O to Sam Miniago and Vithusa for helping me write to this
What do they want from me
The ones who say they love me
They want me to Be a doctor
They want me to Be an engineer
They want me to Be a nurse
They want me to Be an accountant
They want me to Be a lawyer
They want me to Be a Therapist
They want me to be these things in society
Or else
They say You won’t survive in life
We’ll I’m here to say I am not any of the above
But I am still alive motherfucker…
And I am just barely hanging on
But I am not here to survive in life
no I am here to Win in my life
Key word My Life
Because at the end of the day
you will be buried beneath the earth
And I will one day cry
Not only because I have to tell my mom and dad goodbye
But with them I allowed my dreams to die
So I am here to say this is my life
And I will refuse to live yours
So that I can live mine with my dreams
My way and Gods way
And that is who I want to Be